Tomorrow's test

Emily is going to have her video feeding test tomorrow, I really wanted to wait until after vacation because she has a very runny nose, but they had an opening tomorrow and the one therapist said it shouldn't matter if she is sick or not. I am kinda stressed about the whole thing. Worse case scenario: Emily still aspirates liquids (or even worse they see that purees are sticking in her throat) and will have to continue to use the button, though less and less as she gets older. They probably not repeat the test for another 6 months. Best case scenario: everything she eats or drinks goes the right way (provided she is in the mood to do all this while sitting in an unfamiliar room, with unfamiliar faces while a x-ray machine is pushed up to the side of her face; and her food/liquid has barium in it). I know it is in God's hands and He knows what is going on inside Emily's body. I like the button for the fact that I can control how much she eats and therefore makes sure she is growing appropriately, but I am tired of worrying about all the things that go along with a button (infection, pulling on it, etc.) I see other babies of the same age and just wish that things were normal, that I could tickle her belly without worrying about where I am tickling. I cringe everytime someone else holds her because I don't know if they are concerned as to the whereabouts of her button and how it is being moved around. I am tired of running to her everytime she cries thinking that she has pulled her button out. No mom wants a hole in their child's body.